i guess these things take time....

i am overwhelmed with the scent and breathlessness of desire-the desire to hold that gasp that comes when you touch my skin with your eyes, your fingertips, your teeth.

my body doesn't realize what my mind has been told: that you no longer have the will to dominate my senses, to possess me, to overpower my need to be uniquely me; it embraced the will to become something more-uniquely us. it hasn't realized that it will no longer be part of you. and it suffers...the held breath, the longing, the hope....they all make it hard to remember to breathe.

how is it that only my body, and not yours, feels this? when will it forget you? when will it forget contact of your male strength-hair, hard muscle, power-and my female strength-soft skin, reception?

i feel your body's pressure on mine: your chest pressed against my back, your hands grasping the curve of my waist, your breath on my neck, in my ear; i arch, but there is no fulfillment. voluptuous impotence-it's an emptier place than most.

how can you give up what we had? i haven't been able to, yet.


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i leaned over the edge and across my bed to reach something; the pose reminded me of you. i have the strongest urge, feeling something i've been denied for months. i want to bare my shoulders, my back, my hips, and feel your hands cover the terrain as i arch and press against, and wait for you. a ghost finger races its way across the expanse of the skin on my back. it feels like a candle's flicker, as it .....

what an exercise of verbal futility. how do words encompass the loss i feel? a pointless loss. it wasn't a love that weakened, that got battered by lack of interest or miscommunication or betrayal or boredom. how do i tell you what i'm feeling? what would you say? do i put you in an awkward position or suffer in silence? i miss you 'til forever. i miss you , and all the tears i'll ever cry aren't enough to drown and purge my need for you. how does real love, THE love, turn into unrequited love? this is such a mistake.