Tuesday, February 17, 2009

i will miss (and not miss)

i will miss: 
 the sky and the water connecting in one fluid line as i drive over the Bob Sykes bridge. 
knowing that i can't speed on base or on campus at uwf. 
feeling a blast of hot, wet, sticky air when i lower my window at any time from may through early October... 
knowing i'm a part of a community of people who can claim they're from here, and somehow have some moral superiority over every other person who's NOT a native.... because we are a rarity. 
cocktails and tapas at global grill. 
 sushi at dharma's, atlas, and horizen's. 
the trestle on 17th avenue. 
bayou texar. 
white sands that whistle and squeak when i walk across the dunes (that people can't drive on). 
memories of buildings wiped out by hurricanes--trader john's, surf and sand cottages, just to name a few. sunday brunch at madison's, flounder's, and end of the line. 
 pizza and beer at ozone's. 
antique shopping at alyssa's in pace.
la hacienda after church. 
driving and walking and eating and partying dowtown....Palafox, the Saenger.... 

my best friends. My good friends. My sometimes friends. 

i will not miss...... missing my baby. 
sleeping alone. 
wondering if my future is ever going to start.

hoping and waiting

i've been silent
lately
because i can't rest-
between the pauses
and the fits
and starts

that make up this
period of waiting

that will start
my new life--
the one i've always known i should lead

and hope will
actually happen

because i love him
and he loves me.