Dignity

Her white hair was softly curled.
She was about 5 feet tall, and bordering on frail.
As I watched her pass me, I wondered what her story was-I had several more hours before my plane boarded.
To amuse myself, I imagined vignettes portraying her as having the sweet and salty wisdom of little old ladies who make cookies and play bingo.
She got some snacks, then found a seat some distance from the gate.

Much later, I saw her making progress towards the area where I sat.
In front of me was the boarding gate; beyond that was the ladies' restroom.
Watching her slow gait and bent shoulders, I wondered who was left in the world to love her.
And if those gnarled, veiny hands hurt with the ache of gripping experience.
In the next few moments, I began to smell an acrid, biting ammonia smell.
It made me wince and reminded me of all the diapers I'd changed.
I glanced about, and discovered its origin.

Her blue striped pants had a dark stain trailing down the inside of her leg.
My eyes started watering, but I sensed it was more a result of my empathetic horror for her dignity.
With obvious but silent distress, she worked her way to the bathroom with as much haste as she could muster.
She disappeared into the bathroom and didn't re-emerge for some time.
The smell lingered. So did the swelling in my throat.
As I imagined the mortification she must be experiencing, the bathroom door swung slowly, and the stained pants emerged.
I wondered if she had something else to put on, and if there was someone to bring it to her.
Apparently there wasn't, and I struggled with a decision: should I offer to help, and thus bring attention to her predicament, or should I remain where I sat?
As I deliberated, I saw her face. Vulnerability had been replaced with a dignified serenity.
Marvelling at her composure, I knew in that instant that I was going to leave her be. I was not going to destroy her beauty. She again disappeared into the bathroom, this time clutching an black overnight bag.

In due time, the lady emerged with a clean pair of pants and a peaceful look.
Two thoughts went instantly through my mind: I hope that I never lose control in public like that, and when the indignities of age do beset me, I hope I face them with equal courage.